There are reasons to run, and there is running for a reason. This breezy summer night the air was fresh of mountain and field, bracing and pure under the smile of a half moon’s glow. This was running for a reason.
The running surface was mostly asphalt, some road bed rock at the side, an occasional weedy dodge of a car, and a couple of rigid sidewalks. All in all 7.6 miles.
Running and allowing the gravity and other forces of the planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, the cosmos, and beyond, to act on me, to breathe in from the greatest wonders of all that is interrelated to the tiniest cellular worlds inside reminded me of a truth.
Running like this on country roads at night allows me to find peace enough to watch my thoughts emanate outward and reveal themselves, my memories, and my legends of others and self. My hubris under the glory of starlight is laughable. I turn and see the Big Dipper is a sign that I can be the biggest dip in the road.
What do I see? I see the truth, the truth that I am a sinner and that this truth, told honestly brings forgiveness from within my heart, tapping internally the light from the Beginning, the creative light that creates love and life from forgiveness. If I forgive concealing my wrongs, I stand in the yard of my being, shutting the inner light inside, squelching true light within closed doors. Worse, perhaps I then judge others to keep the diversion externally directed away from me and call it forgiveness, adding lie to lie.
Forgiveness from the front yard brings nothing from inside the home. Internal forgiveness brings truth and goodness from within as a gift and sacrifice, as a pearl to give to the forgiven one from the heart, or maybe a song of light, heard by the heart of the forgiven.
As I ran tonight, I realized that repentant heartbeats, sighs, and breathing are given to all of us to use to join the light within with the lights up on high, the warming around us, and the grand, glorious eternity of now, as universal gifts of forgiveness to all and to one. I would say it strongly: the purpose of repentance is to lead us to a greater forgiveness of others, to open the door opening the heart’s inner chamber for Light to become an endless river of peace.
For how is it we can fear one whom we love with the love of forgiveness from a heart that has known the gift of being forgiven that began with truthfulness about self?